The Best For My Best

He's right!

2011-12-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

Now then i understand why Ubai used to be so tough on me, and even more tougher when it comes to mixing with friends 'cause he know that things like now will happen. I can't deny i do not know how to mix well, i screwed when it comes to friends. I keep having losers as a friend. Omg, they seriously turn my life so awful and most of the time i have to close one eye because they're such a embarrassment.

After years, now than i get your point, what you're trying to tell me.

Laughing at your foolishness

2011-12-03T10:38:00.000-08:00

I just don't get it why there's this a couples of people in this world having problems with others life. They keeps having those words to say about others but then they have less time to talk about their not-that-outstanding life. I don't really see there's a need to, if you gonna feel all the pains in the ass when somebody's life seems to be so complete just shut up and stop what you're doing. Yknow you gotta get that sore eyes then why read and feel so irritated by it? You're wasting your time, go find a job to occupy your free time, earning is better than stalking.

Furthermore i believe you need lotsa money to upgrade yourself, you needa money to buy stuffs without having the needs to get any financial help. I am so sorry, i am not looking down on you and think highly of myself, but take a great look at yourself. If you think you could have a better life than i do, than you're welcome to talk about me. I know i can't stop you from bitching cause i understand that you're one typical bitch who do bitching almost everyday, it has become an habit for you. You pinpoint on others and you forgotten about yourself.

I know a lot about you cause we're that close, i have thousand and one ways to embarrass you if you're still dreaming that you could play this better. I know everything, includes all that broken things in your life.

Get yourself fix, everything fix first. Most importantly financial wise! Seriously you're playing with the wrong game.

Y+U+A=COMPLICATED

2011-11-29T07:32:00.000-08:00

Actually I don't wish to dwell with the same old time story over and over again. Of course i want us to be like before, spend the entire time together; just you and me. That's the time where we both starts talking about us the most. The bonding between us that i miss the most. The hugs and kiss on my forehead whenever i started crying, all that can never be forgotten.

I can't deny i miss us so much. The time we had together, the places we'd been to. How regular we spend 24hours together. How much you pampered me, reading me my bedtime story, going to the popular just to get me a bedtime fairytale storybook so that you could read me to sleep. There's so many things we do almost all together that i couldn't even possibly mention it all here, i could if i'd the time to, but remembering all those times with you could probably knock me to the ground again, tearing all night long all by myself.

My intention blogging tonight wasn't about what's happening in the past. It should actually be about a person, god's creator.

She will never understand anything cause i tried hinting through my facebook post and stuffs but i don't see her having those face to fucking back off from sticking her nose to my butt! I am a very flexible person, i won't even pinch your ass if you didn't touch on my personal life's journey. She already had a family of her own, had a child and i don't get it why are you behaving like one-stupid-dumb-bitch who are still into hide-and-seek games like back in my primary school time. I am not assuming it's you and i admit i don't have any evidence to press on you. Look, you did it once, and you're giving me so many hints that it is really you too. I am not yet dumb, i am smart enough to figure out all the possibilities to be sure it is really you.

Come on, stop hiding behind all the brunches, i pretty know this game well. I played this like countless of times. I yet still want to disclose your identity and i'm saving you the big embarrassment, one more time you repeat things again, i am more than happy playing around with my keyboard and jolly well i would put you up on my blog, twitter and most popular interacting site ever, FACEBOOK. Bye!

Not so but still offensive

2011-11-25T09:16:00.000-08:00

I'd never thought things gonna be this way, like now, this hour, this minute and this second. Never had i thought with a status i'm holding that's sort of hanging makes girls bitch more about me. I don't remember disturbing anyone's life, i don't go around chasing after what's not mine just to find a rebound. I tried living by myself after what had happened to my rs. Yes, i dated a few guys and mostly it's just a plain contacting friend to friend touched. I don't give hopes and i don't gain hopes either. What's still running across my mind is always the same things that mingle around for the past few years. It'd never changed.

I'd never felt so insulted by small issues but today, yes i am. I don't know why but i just find it offensive. What did people have been talking behind my back that someone could actually have those thought when fact tells that my post seriously not referring to that particular person that has been mention. The meet that should happen that day between me and that particular person mention was supposedly be a normal meeting cause that point of time i needed someone to talk to. Needing a listening ears to hear all my sorrows.

I know i'm a nobody now, all that i'm left with is just that a career to work on, family and my circle friends for life's entertainment. I'm living my life without a proper man holding me up, i know i can do this alone but that doesn't mean you people can take things for granted, say things as you like. Trying to embarrass me on public cause y'all know that no man will appear to say that "oh she's my girl how could this post refers to your man" something like that.

I get uncomfortable posting things on facebook even though it's my account. Why can't people read and shut that fuck up, comment good things and not anything that makes me feels so insulted. She's freaking own a pussy like i do, she should know how i gonna feel when she posted it.

Now, all that i want to do is cry all my heart out like nobody business cause i just can't take this anymore. This is just too tough for me to go through. I just can't be strong anymore, i just hafta show my weaknesses.

Dear God, please put an end to this. I can't take this anymore. Bring down someone who deserve me only, don't put me into any shits anymore.

#LOST

2011-11-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

I notice i have a toughest time ever to overcome things that had happened between us. It has been 2 months and i freaking can't get you out of my mind. Thinking about you all the time have been an habit for me. I could possible skip my meals just to get through you, on the phone trying to hear you even if it's just for 5 minutes. And looking forward to meet you even it going to be for 30 minutes just to see your face. I know i haven't been like this, haven't been the girl who appreciate that little time that every minutes you spend with me. I was so selfish, very selfish till you have no proper time to spend with your family and friends. I am the one stealing your time, i was the one being so ridiculous. All that i think of is all about myself. I didn't think about what others gonna say. That point of time, i thought you're all for me, yes for me ALONE. But i thought wrong, i am sharing with others and yes forever will be cause you're still having family and friends around. They need you like how i need you.

Shits happened and now i think shits is not just shits yknow. Shits brought my senses back.

Mistake is my friend

2011-11-18T07:57:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for giving you hopes, i'm sorry cause i know i hurt you, i'm sorry for letting you wait for me, and i'm sorry for everything. I know i couldn't let that feelings grow in you after i know you're hoping for an answer that you long waited for. I let you keep your feelings grow stronger and in the end I ditch you aside. I didn't mean to hurt i didn't mean to give hope and i know i couldn't grant your wishes. We can never find our way back to be together like the years back.

Like I already said, there will never be any replacement for Ubai's place. NOBODY!

As bright as the sun's shines

2011-11-17T03:35:00.000-08:00

Yes this is the time I am waiting to blog, cause after roughly 2 freaking months we haven't had the chance to meet each other, and it's so obvious it's all about our downturn; the situation that we faced, we came to the extend of not wanting to see each other's face. Yes, we both are egoistic, VERY! But after this times, i guess his all cool down and have come to his senses to call up every single night just to hear me and definitely know how's I'm doing.

I'm glad he did, just after a few days he went serving his National Service or NS in short. I know god's listening to my prayers, the night before he's in; I had the hardest night ever i swear. I couldn't put myself to bed and start getting slight fever. All that I was thinking all night was just "Will he be okay later?" And hoping for his well-being. My heart's beat faster than all the other days, I'm afraid he might be mixing with all the bad accompanies. When I was still around, I was the one preventing bad things to happen, but when things turns to be different I am just worried if he step on the wrong stone.

That was all beforehand, now after he started calling up again i don't worry much 'cause i know at least, i know what's going on. Maybe, maybe not every single things that happen, but to me i bother what matter most only. I don't touch on his privacy.

Tomorrow it's Friday, it's the day when he have been waiting for, BOOK OUT! haha & of course i am so sexcited to meet him up. It seriously have been so long, for the very first time 2 months! It sucks big time for sure. I struggle a lot but i learn from every difficulties i gone through alone. I'm happy for myself, YES I AM!

There's actually an handful stuffs happened that i wanted to highlight on but I was not given the green light to do so. I don't wish to embarrass any parties but don't provoke somebody that's capable to do something that you will never wish for in your life. I'm saving you the big embarrassment, keep on mingling and sticking your nose on my business kayz. There's always a limit, when you exceed that bother line, i will get everything's in a mess. Worst than your horror nightmares you'd ever got.

Very well get all the mess you've already got there in place than getting your ass in others holes. You're such a pathetic loser bitch who gotta no sense of humanity at all. You're dying for happiness in life and tends to steal it from others, you bring a girl's down by trying to take a boy owns half of her heart away. Even if you got through this, you're not the winner, you'd never won the battle cause in the first place this wasn't even one. You're just such a pain in the ass cause you steals broken heart, you took advantage it. You think you could be the best but you didn't, by one look i freaking think you're looking so hungry, craving for the pie that i'd shaped and baked for the past fucking 2 years plus. You can do better yknow!

Dear Loves

2011-11-07T04:28:00.000-08:00

I know what i want, i know what i wanna be but i do not know how do i do all that on my own. I just need papa to say "Adik here's all the things you want, i brought you all the choices; just choose one" but i can't always depend on others to succeed, i can't call myself a grown up if i still ask papa and mama and almost everyone to do things for me, to make decision for me, for my life.

Dear Papa,

You're a great dad ever, you provide me with all my needs and wants. You granted all my wishes even if you gonna waste a few thousands for me. You make me feel so blessed and make me feels as if I'm the most important person in the family. Even after all the shits i did, you're so patience and you tolerated my behavior. You hugged me whenever i broke down. You gave me words of encouragement whenever I'm falling apart. You have to stop giving me money and ask me to earn my own. Papa, you're too great. I'm so grateful to have you.

Dear Mama,

You're my role model, you have to learn to start scolding me whenever i did something wrong. Thanks for encouraging me when i first told you i wanted to be a runway model, you gave me all of your support. Look at me now mum, It's a success. I've got what i wanted. All thanks to you.

I feel so blessed with a wonderful family and friends.

You + her = DIE

2011-11-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

I'm all fixed now, i mean i'd overcome almost all the fears in life especially fear of being alone, without you. My stories with you i take it like a rotten apple already. It smells! Seriously i improve tremendously without me even noticing, i can actually be on my own.

I am blogging today it is because i am happy, yes I AM HAPPY. I am happy because i thought you will be dating with someone far far way much more better than me but you are not. Seriously, it's sad to see you mingling with a mother of one or more maybe, i don't know. And I'm pretty sure, she's still a someone's wife. OMG~ Hmmm.

I definitely don't wish to bitch about you guys but come on, I'm doing better now, are you? When i was still struggling, you was enjoying your days, thinking that i couldn't make it through, you make it sound as if i couldn't find someone better than you do. And now, i can see that you're falling apart, if you want to end this fast, freaking give me my stuffs. Why the fuck are you still holding on to my things?

I am not jealous of you or nor her, i have a good life, good career, good pay, good family and of course good circle friends, and it's interesting than what you got. Don't make me be the another girl whom gonna look down on you, i'm kind enough to still give you my fullest support on whatever you do.

BE GRATEFUL FUCKER!

If it wasn't me, then who?

2011-10-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

I am not trying to say i am extremely good, good to be with. Too good to be with you. I'm just like all the other girls in this world who wants to be loved and appreciated. No matter how small or huge i contribute to you, the little things still counts. What i'm trying to say here is not that i'm asking for big things in return, just an appreciation will do. Show me that you appreciate all the deeds i did for you, all the things and how committed i was for the past years.

I'm sorry for not being faithful, i screwed us and make a mess in my life and maybe, maybe yours too. Everyone knows i have dedicate myself to you, yes no one else other than you instead of others. I choose to be with you 'cause i thought in the long run i'll be still living with you no matter what happen. Things really changed now, I'm all back to square one, you too.

At first, we pretended to be okay, alright just to make others think we're in good terms but actually we are not. We was already all apart, broken that till it cannot be fix anymore. Before things happened, we tried to get back, try to find our way to understand each other back but we failed and now we think we're better off apart. We're totally sick of all the shits we encounter. There's no more chances, no more anything to be together. Maybe in the future to come, if there's fate, there will always be if not, we should know it better.

There's nothing more to discuss/talk about. No words to speak about, we will just end us up fighting. I don't wish to be rude nor be disrespect to you but sometimes, i'm being force to. I just can't control my anger. Sometimes, i think you're getting on my nerves.

Damn, i just don't know what's gonna happen next. I am not going to pull you back.

Men love this

2011-10-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

The fact is, I had become addicted to someone (in defense, he had fostered this, being something of a "man-fatale"), and now that his attention was wavering, i was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted- an emotional speedball, perhaps , of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pay up the good stuff anymore- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you.

He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination- the complete and merciless devaluation of self.

The fact that i can even type calmly about this today is mighty evidence of time's healing powers, because i didn't take it well as it was happening.

To be losing him right after the failure of our relationship, and the ugliness break up I'm all struggled up and i have made a mess in my life. To keep it all nicely covered, I am trying to be happy like i never did before.

I'm all grown up now

2011-09-15T08:51:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to get this blog updated since i have all my free time doing nothing. I don't wanna be like how those typical people who blog about their daily life where readers don't bother to know.

Human's hates stalkers but they're blogging about their daily routines and put it on public, doesn't it sound stupid? Don't you have the brain to think, oh wait you do have the brain but to make it clear do your brain function? Hello? Everyone's is reading it, it's public my dear.

Things that remains the same:

1. I still prefer tall man!
2.Tall man looks sexy
3.Guys wearing specs looks smart
4:I'm still a book worm
5:I still need to be spoon feed
6:I love ben & jerry's milkshakes
7:I will still risk my life for Ubai
8:I'm still a cry baby
9:I eat a lot and finish up others portion too
10:CRAZY ALWAYS!

Everything changed in just a minute

2011-09-14T10:21:00.001-07:00

Nobody in this world wants to be a failure. Fail to be a person that everyone's proud of, fail in relationship nor in studies etc. My daily routine haven't changed so much but in my relationship wise there is, I'm kinda disappointed with it but I'm overcoming it. All that I know, he knows that decision that have been made is for our own good, for own future. We're apart but at the same time we are still in the same boat, the same as if when we're together.

He is still with me, by my side holding me on. Our love towards each other are so big that we hardly couldn't let each other off just like that. We keep track on one another every single day without fail. We still do our usual meet ups, phone calls and of course messengers too. Everything seems to be the same, only the status don't.

We're on our way of learning not to depend on each other too much, we need to learn how to appreciate each other more and not regret things when everything's over. We are still young and will never stay young forever, we might want to move on to a life that is more than just a relationship, marriage might just slip in maybe?

He told me that he wants to give me the best, and I'm kind of proud 'cause at least he has words of convincing to convince me that I will get the outcome behind of all the pains that i gotta have to go through now.

You guys may have all your times laughing at me for failing now but in the future to come, god only knows what you guys will be doing. We're not that typical people who go for easy way out, we work for our happiness even if it gonna take us years. All that we wanna see is a good outcome.

Only god knows how happy i was when he told me of his plan on the courses that he gonna continue studying on. A course that i know that he can manage to go further.

Nobody knew how big he contribute to me, how commited he was. He worked for me, a young man going out to work just to have the money to make up for me, yes me. He's the man who NEVER, please look up to the word "NEVER" let me down, never let anybody put a finger on me and never not let me get whatever that i wished for.

"Mohammad Ubaidillah, I'll make everything possible for us. Insya'allh things will turn out to be as what you always wanted. God hear us. You have seen how i go crazy when you're not around, how i fell sick just when all the things happen. That shows how much i deeply strongly love you"

Dear god..

2011-08-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah, buka kan lah mata dia dan berikan lah dia lihat aku adalah seseorang yang sering disampaingnya dan akan selalu mencintainya sepernuh hati ku. Aku selalu ingin menjadi yang terbaik untuk nya. Aku sedari bahawa kadang-kala sikap ku yang kurang memuaskan adakalanya menyingung perasaan nya dan akan membuatnya tidak tahan untuk menghadapi kesemua kelakuan ku.

Sesungguhnya aku, sangat mencintai dan menyangi Mohammad Ubaidillah sedalam-dalamnya lautan, sebanyak-banyaknya pasir di pantai.

I just feel......

2011-07-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

I just don't feel like blogging anymore.

I just feel exposing everything here makes no difference.

I just feel that Blogspot.com don't hear me well.

I just feel that everything's just too tough for me to deal with.

I just feel like wasting tissue paper wiping my tears off.

I just feel like putting everything aside and chill my mind.

I just feel to be ALONE!

Mistakes is my bestfriend

2011-06-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

Nobody in this world never make mistakes, we're all human we could not ran from mistakes. Mistakes is like our close friend. I made mistakes almost everyday big or small it is still consider a mistake. Sometimes i tend not to realized what i did is a mistakes, is wrong and when i didn't notice it i started to do it repeatedly and sometimes i knew it was a mistakes but i still choose to do it again and again.

I never used to be so dumb to express my feelings both verbal and non verbally. I hate having these feelings when I have to be alone with my laptop on and my mind went somewhere thinking of something that i couldn't figure it out what's in mind.

Everything seems to be wrong nowadays. Nothing amaze me, nothing seems so right that i could agree on. Every night i feels so restless and i got mad over little things.

Trying to control my temper that is so bad that nobody could ever handle it!

Fuck your face off

2011-06-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am quite surprised after those few years you still remembered how i look like, the girl you left hanging. Thank you, thanks for turning me to be a bitch and hurt so many sinfulness hearts. Whatever it is, i am happy with my life now, as long as my boyfriend is around i believe everything's goes well.

What can a girl ask for?

2011-06-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

I don't think i should be listing what girls are looking for cause by this particular time at least 50 percent of the guys knows it well. I believe girls are too tired to tell guys "what they should be doing", "what should they say" etc. Guys doesn't look good when each and every time they've to be spoon feed. I would love to date a MAN rather than a BOY but when things changed, when man turns to be a BABY i would rather date a boy than a baby. Boys that least knows about the basic of relationship.

Every couples wants their partner to understand them well, fix all the broken pieces together but by time past things started to changed to the worse. Everybody tend to be selfish, doesn't even bother about one another but they still have the cheek to be in a relationship, they keep each other hanging; they just do not realize they're hurting each other's feeling.

Whatever that I've said, I am speaking for myself too. I am so selfish that i almost wanted to break bloods apart. I stole time that doesn't belong to me. I thought wrong, i thought everything of him is mine, mine alone. I don't feel like sharing with others.

I am the girl who made him forget his past cruelly everrrrrrrrr.

I always wanted to be heard crying

I don't need you

2011-06-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

I already knew things gotta be this way, being kind suck much. She took advantage of my kindness, i saved you from all the embarrassment and yet this is what i got in return. I was embarrassed, and now i do not know how am i suppose to react if i tend to bump onto that person in any days. I'm totally pissed off and she's getting on my nerves already. I am a girl, where do i have to put my face at? I couldn't face reality, i feel like buying a mask and wear it to school, everywhere i go.

I thought you're somebody who keeps others secret secured but my thoughts was wrong. You're the bitch who acts as if you are someone whom everyone could depend on and trusted but truth to be told YOU ARE NOT. You are the bitch who can't get your mouth shut, who think you are so perfect, smart when you are not. You are the bitch who tried so hard to be perfect and smart, but at the end you shown nothing, it's just worthless. You're not a good friend to mix around with. You're such a bad accompany.

After knowing that almost everybody DISLIKE you, and the choose not to be so close to you; i think they're making the right decision. If they were to continue mixing with people like you, everything will go wrong.

I will fucking find a way to teach you a lesson soon. You seriously need to change!

Why must it be this time?

2011-06-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

Seriously i didn't had any problem getting along with mates in primary>secondary, but i have difficulties this time at the moment my feet step into ITE college west. I can easily get along with the surrounding but NO NOT THE PEOPLE. This is the hardest thing that I've done, trying to choose a good peers.

Guess what, never in my life i encounter any thing like this, never in my life i come across someone like [her]. I don't think she even afford a piece of mirror to at least mirror up [her] face. This isn't my intention to blog and spoil my night blogging about [her] but my blood had come boiling on my forehead (This part please don't read cause i know it sound so world, hehe)

I should be just highlighting the main keys to my topic.

When you don't have something good to say, keep your mouth shut cause nobody wants to hear your shit. Come on, you are talking about me and i believe that i am way better than you, and so i take it as you're just jealous. You don't have to point on me just because i tend to speak so slow. Almost everyone knows that my malay suck to the core and i fucking have to find words to describe the things that I've had to say and it bloody take time too, my brain doesn't content computer wiring. I've difficulties speaking in my malay language yet I am a 'A' graded student for my freaking malay language. So what can you say?

I'm still wondering why are you pointing out my weaknesses when you have yours too? Haven't you come across in your mind wanting to find for a english teacher to teach you spelling? Do you need my 11years old niece to teach you spelling?

I fucking save you the embarrassment be thankful i didn't blow this all out to your face in front of everybody and i didn't post a picture of you here and let strangers judge your big fat totally like pig body size and face. Thank me cause i am so kind hearted (I'm carrying my own basket)

I'm all done now. I should be doing my revision now bye

Wtf?

2011-05-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

IMMA HAPPY GIRL EVER!

Reminds me of you

2011-05-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

I don't need so many people to make me smile, having you around can make me happy and sad at the same time.

it will never remain that way

2011-05-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

Whenever i was brought out and whenever i get to see your face, those smiles definitely will appear and fade again when it's time to go.

I do not know if i expected too much from you or i am lacking of something.

I need to learn how to say my feelings out in a way that won't end us up arguing.

oh gooooooooood!

My favourite boy turns 4

2011-05-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th Birthday to my FAVOURITE BOY!

So we did had a mini birthday party for him, thanks to mama for preparing all the things before dinner. I do had a great time today and i guess hunny on stick was so happy, i can see him smiling and laughing at the time. I hope he loves the present that i've bought for him, i know he do cause he intended to sleep with it.

Time fly real fast, he finally turned 4 and he's a big boy now.

I just can't believe with my own eyes now that his growing fast, i feel as if he was born just yesterday and already turned 4 today.

Hunny, although you won't be able to read this i wanna tell everyone who read this that i love you so much. You're my apple on a tree. You brighten each and every of my day whenever i see you smile and hear you laugh. You're the one who confort me whenever i was down with your hugs and jokes that sometimes i don't it should be called a joke, not at all. You will make a fool out of yourself just to make everyone laugh.

Time checked: 12:00AM

Just can't be bother anymore

2011-05-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Eversince the very first day of school i can hardly click with a little group of people in my class. Yes we had end up into no good terms with each other that till makes me had a great arguement with them. We all came from different backgrounds and attitude and that is one of the thing that couldn't make us click with each other well.

Although things had settled, yet still i freaking can't get along with them right and at times i fucking don't feel like faces them. At the same time, i've found a couple of good friends that i'm close to now. We don't favour the same people though, they even got the same thoughts about some humans.

A month had past real fast without me noticing., and i just i should just tolerate with all the nonsenses that they're up to. I just can be bother no more :D

Omg, in a few minutes time, my lovely hunny on stick turns 4.

I can't believe my eyes that his growing real fast and he's a smart boy. He talks a lot and only stop when his tired. I've seen him grew for almost 4 years, i love him so much that sometimes i don't have the heart to leave him at home while i've to go to school.

So for my lovely birthday boy, happy 4th birthday. You will be rewarded with so many sweets tomorrow

The same routine everyday

2011-05-18T07:00:00.001-07:00

I will just make it short. As you can see i hardly get my blog a treat, i have been so busy that makes me have no time for anything. School's fine and assignments is killing me and wanna burst my brain off.

So mama and papa got themselve their share facebook account, they look happy and so excited i can see that on their faces. omg!

I don't fight due to stupid things

2011-04-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in myself that I actually got myself into stupid trouble with stupid ass-head's. Seriously this ain't me. I should stop entertaining, what I know is that, I say the facts. I say what I feel like saying, say thing that I noticed. I am not ticked off by you. And your friend words cause all you say is all not making any sense.

Classmates can always make things up, but when you'd jump into our problem and tryna harm me with your PISANG, I should not have kept myself quiet. Just so yknow, i've gone through worst than this. So I don't understand why should I give a damn on you guys?

It's alright, it's okay, i'm always here and won't run away. You can always drop by to meet me and prove me that you're not only good at doing the talking. You're just a piece of shit that is not yet up to my standard to find trouble with. I don't answer questions after a good fight. Don't cover your ass with questions as if I will forget what you tend to do with me alright.

DON'T MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF! I AM NOT LIKE YOU! I AM NOT THE TYPE WHERE I COME TO YOU! I AM THE TYPE YOU'VE TO FIND FOR, AND IF POSSIBLE I WILL MAKE YOU RUNNING LIKE A DIRTY DOG, CRYING FOR HELP!

"For years nobody dares to put a finger on me, nobody. I was surprised she want to be the first. By all means darling. If you're standing for you boyfriend's right, just so yknow my boyfriend is always with me , with me through every thick and thin. He's very protective over me. Nobody can touch me both girls and boys. "

Imma big girl now, I can handle things on my own now.

Today will be different from tomorrowh

2011-04-07T10:48:00.000-07:00

By the look of your impression you're looking down on him. You're so arrogant that maybe, maybe you do not know anything can happen, anything that you never want to happen-can happen in any time any place. Keep on looking down on him cause I swear you'll regret it one day when you see where he is standing, and insya'allah higher than where you both are on.

You should be teaching her the polite way to look at somebody.

It's broken, need a repair

2011-03-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

NOBODY WANTS TO BE IN THESE SHOE. I'LL REGRET I KNOW. I'LL FIXS THINGS UP I PROMISE.

For you lossers!

2011-03-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend taught me so many things such as manners and JAGA MARUAH DIRI, and by now I guess yours haven't taught you that right? - Or he yet know anything? As a young clever only in studies lady, you also should know how to take good care of yourself and not sell your body for free. You should also learn not to run after what's doesn't belongs to you. I understand that mine is super-duper-ultra AWESOME man that girls like you will definately run after for, even though you always said your boyfriend is 'perfect', your boyfriend 'treat you well', your boyfriend this and that, I still pity you cause behind all those words you're actually lack of one thing, lack of 'attention'. Mirror yourself well, look who's the losser ones? Still have those cheeks to open up your mouth. Don't be sucha BIG LOSSER BITCH lah bitch! Don't pretend you are sebaik-baiknya malaikat lah kayz. ( Actually I don't intend to fight fire with fire but when that gigi start to open up about some issues I f* bother to stand for my every right)

Back to square one, for the better(:

2011-03-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a while ever since I gave yaneey-the-best.bs.com a treat. It's either I'm busy or just lazy but mostly I'll be plain LAZY. It's kinda special today cause am here blogging, I'm back putting my fingers on the keyboard(:

So, in less than a month time I'm back to be a school girl. All back to square one, for the better I should say. My superb long holidays gotta end and gotta make school's fun next. 2years full time in hotel operation, i wonder how it would turn out to be.

Did I mention; daddylove had finished school? Did I? Didn't I? And goddamn great he is now a office boy! He's earning, just for a few months before he went for his NS. Truth is, I AM GOING TO BE ALONE OUT HERE SOON, CAUSE IN A FEW MONTHS MORE, DADDY HAS TO SERVE HIS NATIONAL SERVICE AND I FUCKING HATE IT YKNOW!

Oh please, dear god NO PLEASE!
My mood to blog just flew away, shall post a proper one soon.......

Quote

2011-01-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving- by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.

-www.google.com/www.symbian.com-

My happiness is well build

2011-01-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

For almost 2years 3months we have been very committed in our relationship. We well build our happiness together. We gone through both the thicks and thins together although at times it is really hard. Nobody knows all the difficulties and all the wonderful moments we'd been into. After all these years then there's "somebody" said that I am a REBOUND GIRL?

All that I know is that Ubai is not attach before being with me, yes he did contact with a few girls but yet not into any relationship. I knew his past and I knew everything that had happened to him. I don't understand what makes you say I'm a rebound girl. Maybe, maybe I'm wrong, I might not know everything, every secrets behind him, behind his dark past life.

Just so yknow, I was with him just after the day I broke up with my ex. I remembered I broke up with my ex on the 2nd of november 2008 and I'm attached to Ubai on the 3rd of november 2008. If it's true that I am a rebound girl, name me who's that girl that ubai's with just before me?

Seriously I don't mind if y'all have something harsh or anything to say that might hurt me. What I need you to do is just that you need not hide yourself like a coward. Show yourself up, I don't bite.

Why so tough?

2011-01-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Dear God, please don't let anyone and anything change. I want it all to stay the same. -___-

2010-12-03T09:05:00.000-08:00

I've been real good for months and I always remind myself not to screwed like I did in the past time. Countless of times I told you I won't hurt you again and believe me or not I'm keeping my promises real tight in me and made it so secure.

I didn't expect what I did made you face big/huge embarrassment. If I knew it gotta turn that way and hurt you in a way that makes you feel the deepest cut, seriously I will not had did it. Though, others and even you got the wrong intention, i mean what's in y'all mind is not like what I meant on my replied.

Again, I always remind myself that everything happens with it's reason. God is kind enough to always gives me the answers to my questions even though at times, to get to the answer is not as easy as clickclick; I've to go through some big/small obstacles.

What had happened recently, I better took it as a misunderstanding brought me to the answer to my another question. From now now, I'll hardly believe any good words from any humans cause when we're not in a good terms, all the bad thoughts that they actually have on us blown out just like that, & the pain I felt this time round is really hurting me and cutting me deep, deeper than ever!

I've to fu*cking stop here, I just can't hold my tears any longer. I've sketch a fake smile to make people think I'm okay when actually I'm not. The embarrassment you faced is not as painful as what I felt that with always stays with me that can never be forgotten throughout my life.

Do come back

2010-12-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Dear god, how I wish it would pay me a visit again and not leave.
Just gives me the early symptoms and make me have the confidences it's there.

Everytime I sees you, I'll go smiling:D

2010-11-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

Every second, every minute every time I sees you, standing in front of me; for sure I'll go smiling cause at just one look at your face or even just a glance, I've successfully made my day. Now then I knew why I shouldn't be envy with the love life you'd gone through with all the girls you've dated, at first I'm envy cause I thought they had a perfect life with you but time prove me wrong. I shouldn't cause the life they'd gone through with you in the past time hasn't been as perfect as mine now. I feels so lucky cause I've you now. I don't care what people gotta say about you, me or us cause what I know is that we suits each other perfectly even though we don't seem to be that way at times. I believe now, now when you're with me you hardly feels dislike. My parents loves you a lot and non-stop praying for us, not to end our relationship but move further. I'm very comfortable with your family though. They're all fun to be with.

From now on, I'll do whatever it takes to be a good girlfriend to you if that's what it takes to be in a good ongoing relationship. I want to be the best that you hardly can find:D

(With just prayers, without efforts you can never go further. You've to make your move to see the differences. Happy trying, mine is going real good:)

I want to see you when I open my eyes

2010-11-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

*It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside. I'm standing here but all I want is to be there. Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen 'cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care -______________-

*Stick to the stuff you know if you wanna be cool follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow, stick to the status quo

Trying to close my eyes tight

2010-11-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

Should I just close my eyes tight and ignore what's happening around me, as if nothing happen?
Trying to be good is tough trying not to be nice is tough too. I just do not know what's happening, what's my mistake if there really is. Do you think I'll trust you when you used your friend's name again when you did used that reason before?

I've just to remind you that "Two can play the same"!

Let's cover our ears

2010-10-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

Don't matter how hard you try, don't ever think I'm gonna win over you.
I'm not won over your words, don't persuade me to strewed up, cause I won't & will never again.

Now turn 20 !

2010-10-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Happy 20th Birthday, Love!

Months and days past without me notice, you'd turn 20 now. A cute little birthday cake I bought especially for you today, I hope you like it and most probably love it. It doesn't matter how big the gift looks, how expensive it cost me but what matters most is how must I love you and how much I care for you & not forgetting I still remember today is your special day. Whatever happens, I'll go through all the thick and thin with you even if it gonna hurt me, I'll go through it together with you and I'm sincere enough about it.

I'll make sure I'll take good care of you like how you take good care of me, make my life so secure and not let anybody hurts me. You love me for all you can, I know that. I've seen you cry over mistakes that I did, you forgive me whenever I did wrong no matter how big and small it gotta be. Though, we both ever did mistake, we learn to forgive and maybe yes forget and you always help me to overcome those past time.

I wouldn't be me, like what I am now if it's not because of you. You commit a lot for me, for us almost everything. You've been the pillar in your relationship and a good boyfriend to me. I can go on typing the whole night long about you but it's just too much to story-tell.

As you'd turn older now, I hope you gonna turn like a real man. I hope you gonna think wider whenever you're up to something good or bad. Life is tough but don't push yourself to the limits where you gotta get lost and ruin your life. Insyallah, you gonna be a success person in future to come, and if you want it to happen, you've to help yourself push you further cause it's all in your own hand. Nobody can help you more than you do. Keep it up with what you're doing now, cause it's just so awesome.

Last but now least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I LOVE YOU DADDY:DD

What you need is what they need

2010-10-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

Respecting a younger generation, someone who're younger than you is not a matter. What matters is you've to learn to respect before wanting to be respected.

There's a couple of issues that I've been dealing with a few weeks back. What wakes me up is when he starts to prove to me that his not only have those guts to throw all the words but he have the guts to make his move too. In every relationship's I believe there will always have fights and arguments over small or big matters.

What shocked me most is when he did something that you'll never knew he would do. Things went out of hand, and I've no other good words to persuade him, words to make him feels that I'm really gonna be a change person. Seriously, I almost turn insane and have nowhere else to go, I'm lost of direction with a empty mind that point of time. I was still holding on to my phone trying to reach for him, he ignored every of my calls. Messaging him trying my luck if things might turn to the better, but I failed!

The next morning, the first thing first; without having my breakfast nor lunch I rush to his block. Hoping to meet him and solve things up. At first, he refuse to meet me, after an hour later he did came down, and we talked things out. That point of time I can see he refuse to look to my face, my eyes afraid he might fall to my tears.

(Many things happened, I wanted to pen everything down but making me reflect back what happen that day, makes me have a emotion breakdown. What I can say now is that treasure your love ones now, when they're around and not regret when they're gone)

Oh Lala!

2010-10-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Hoping for a fresh new start. End every nonsense arguments over stupid stuffs.
Let's pray for the better in future to come. Many things had happened all this while, but should not mention cause it's all just like a peanut butter spread on a slice of bread. Hehe:D

Did I mention that daddylove hard work had been paid off?
He did everyone especially me and his family proud, his current GPA point is 3.5. A good result that may push him much more further, and let's hope for a better result for the upcoming exam.

Daddylove, you really did everyone proud. Study hard, prove to everyone that you can be somebody one day.

What you say ?

2010-10-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

What can you simply say knowing that a girl's mindset is better than yours, a 24 years old mother of four? How did you felt after getting to taste the spice of my words yet still WITHOUT any vulgarity. I was told that someone is pissed off with me. Oh really? Good then.

You've to learn to respect people before you wanna be respected! For me, someone like you just don't deserve to be respected. Just so yknow, you're a snake headed! Don't think we're stupid, even after you'd deleted those pictures, we'd already printed your page out for evidence.

I'm giving you 3 more days to delete one more picture in your facebook account, if not, i swear I'm gonna make another police report on you and this time round I'm going to bring this matter to the sub-court.

You made me turn so worried,

2010-09-22T09:47:00.001-07:00

I always wanted you to be a man, speak to me like one and treat me like how usually men treat a women. And so do I want you to be independent, depend on yourself and not others. Though, I'm still depending on you, that doesn't mean I'm not all grown up yet. That is a good thing actually, cause it will remind you that there's actually somebody is depending on you. It's good when you occupied your school holidays by working. Even though today is your first day of work, you already made me turn sooooo worried. I believe you can be on your own but still I'm worried for you. I'll be up the whole night, just to accompany you through the phone.

Work hard and at the same time take good care of your health. I would want to be with you while you're working but I can't(mana boleh berkepit waktu berkerja kan) :)

Approval is important

2010-09-15T05:47:00.000-07:00

I just realized in a relationship or marriage blessing from parents is very important. Without it, it's hard to go any further. Speaking of blessing; I'm super-ultra-happy that our parents can get along and that got to mean, It's a good start for us. And I'm confident we can make it although there's still a long way to go.

I know everything gotta be just fine, maybe great. I've got the love, the blessing and so what's next? Never I thought things gotta be this great, I mean the feeling I'm having now is much more awesome than in all the fairy tales love's stories. I simply can't elaborate much cause I might be typing all night long and you guys may just turn bored and I might caught you guys sleeping on your computer's. -___________-

Emotion breakdown ):

2010-09-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

I need to grow up and put all those emotion's away. A months or more had past and why am I still having those emotion breakdown? And why must it be this time, why not the past ones? What so super ultra special about this time round. Why I keep on thinking about it when I know it is no longer around. Though I didn't get to see nor feel it, I started to miss it already, very much & I believe that is why I'm crying all this time. You must want to see me suffer cause I made you suffered. I didn't mean it, what I did is all for your own good. I shouldn't give yaneey-the-best.bs a treat on this but I have to cause I've nowhere else to share these emotion of mine.

(I'm sorry daddy, for bringing up this story again. I just can't hold it any more. I can't be telling you all this stuffs cause I know you gotta be mad at me and this irritates you a lot.)

I missing all the touches you used to gives. But it's all gone cause you're scared things happen again. It hurts me a lot and it makes me think "oh you don't need mine cause you got from others". This is stupid but in fact that's in mind. I'm not assuming but those thoughts just pop-up. Don't blame me nor yourself. Nobody at fault. Never mind, I'll still put my faith on you, only you even though the journey I've to go through is way too tough.

Being blessed(:

2010-09-07T05:06:00.000-07:00

I feels so blessed, love is being so kind to me to find someone so special

Say "NO" to abortion

2010-08-30T08:16:00.001-07:00

After minutes trying to figure out what to blog today, I crossed by a few video's and picture's of abortion's babies. It's like out of a sudden I feels like posting about it, like clickclick!
Abortion is well-recognize by humans, more to the teenagers maybe? It is really sucha pain to see sinfulness babies had been killed while they're almost about to see this wonderful world.

There is handful of ways to prevent getting ashamed/ cover up shames. And one of the ways is going through a painful and sinful way that is called A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N as that is my topic for today. And of course it do cost a person a lot.

Whenever you go through an abortion, you actually kills a life , making a pair of eyes not to see the wonderful world, a pair of ears to hear great sounds, a nose to breath, a mouth to speak, a tongue to taste, a pair of hands to touch and a pair of legs to move. And of course, you can't get to hear a voice calling out for mummy, crying asking for a bottle of milk.

Avoid from getting an abortion cause letting it sees the world is the greatest thing ever. A child is the greatest and precious thing god's given to human. You produce it, you take care of it. It's like a job given to to from god.

Love them with your whole heart =)

It's okay to cry.

2010-08-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

My intention to blog is not for you to read and get shocked. Yes, You've all the rights to be shock cause you just can't believe it that there's a circle of human saying such things to me. I know It's hard for you to trust my words when I told you "I won't screw up". It's pretty normal to me as I understand you, as you're afraid if I might just slip into their traps and again make stupid mistake. Believe it or not, this time round I won't and will never. I told you I'm putting my faith on you strong. I won't let you down, trust me.

You are my everything. The one that I wanna be with till death. Believe me, nobody nor nothing can make us apart except for god. I'm glad, you did had win my parent's heart. They seriously likes you a lot and wishes us to be together forever. You have been a great boyfriend and you've done your part as my boyfriend. You guide me through along all the roads I'm on. I can see that you do really love me so much as you'd sacrifice a lot. Although we're just in the relationship stage, you've done something that a husband should do. You never did make me go hungry, you share with me whatever you have. You've been so protective, just to make me feels save. You bought me whatever I wished for & at times when you're free you keep on following my flow, bringing me to everywhere I wanna go.

I feels so pampered and being loved so much. I know sometimes It's tough to handle me cause I may turn like a new born baby at times where I get hurt easily and starts to cry. I'm happy that yknow how to handle the situation and make me bring up a smile on my face. I knew you for 1 year plus but it feels like hundreds of years. Life won't be so wonderful without you, as I felt the loneliness before for 3days, remembered you left me and you went to Melaka for holiday? It's so awkward without you. Therefore, I should treasure you when you are around or regret while you are not.

"I'll ignore everyone of them because I only want you"

Stop things before it starts again

2010-08-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

I did remembered mentioning I don't have the needs to seek for another man cause I've got a love and I know It's all mine and I am making him my everything. God may be trying to test my patience, making all the sluts surrounded me and waiting for my decision. I'm putting my faith strong on him and only him. I wouldn't want to repeat my mistake again cause I know it will hurt him, therefore losing him is a big deal.

Forget about proving to me you can be better than him cause you can't. Nobody except him could tolerate my nonsense. He had been a good man and a good help in my life. He have done a lot for me. He turned my life to be so secure that nobody dares to hurt me. Not that his over-protective but just wanna make me feel save living my days. So, whatever it is things will still be the same as always.

Mohammad Ubaidillah, like I'd promised to you; I won't let you down nor hurt you like again. I am putting faith in you and us. No matter what happen, others can't prove that they're better and they simply can't treat me like a baby as you always do.

Nothing worth than you

2010-08-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe, maybe everyone who knows thought I'm okay with everything and there's nothing goes wrong somewhere but in fact, the pressure seeing imagination is really tough to be handle. I may look pretty normal and calm, I believe nobody knows what I am facing, difficulties living my days. No one actually notice a single thing and nobody make an effort to come up and ask. Am I gonna have to go through it alone without any guides nor supports?

Everyone starts moving after It's over, and no one cares about the pain nevertheless the hurt feelings in me. Seriously, those are not my actual intention, not my own willing but I have to; for the seek of everyone, especially Mohammad Ubaidillah. I've to make things happen upon his wishes. That point of time, I wished to disappoint nobody, not a single person.

For a certain group of human, they may think it is unrealistic to believe that one person can be your everything, the most precious gift from god. But I do believe it can. & that goes to Mohammad Ubaidillah. He is more than a boyfriend, friend or more. There's nothing can make me describe how important and precious he is for me. His worth than anything else on earth.

I remind myself that I'm finding for a man not a boy cause I wanna make us stays forever till death and not for hours nor days. Although I've been pushed with ton and loads of pressure due to the incident, in mind I know what I did is worth than a million dollars and I commit a little in our relationship, it defines our happiness and save our family pride. On the other hand, I should be proud of myself and the next thing first should make myself back to be strong, to face any problem in future to come.

Sucha pain -_-'

2010-07-18T20:51:00.001-07:00

My missing was full of downs. Knowing and noticing that I'm lost. Lost my sense of directions and everything I have. I've nowhere to go nor move around freely. By now i would've had found the way and space for my own to calm down yet i failed. Yes, i wanted to keep you in me and keep you be secure with me but i can't cause of some unreasonable reasons that i simply can't understand why. I can't deny that i wanted to have you, my fresh blood but the surrounding and situation are pushing me to push my intention aside. It's too early? Maybe, just a maybe yes but isn't it sucha pity to just let it go like that. I know you'll break your promises at least once and i know why you're so eager to make those promises cause you're scared if i might not do what you want me to do. I'm not stupid nor blind to not be able to see your intention behind every of your acts that you'd hidden it.

Well, I'm speechless and i just do not know what else to do. Keeping myself in silence won't make things better but I'm running away from you cause i don't want to be force to do what i don't want. It's okay with me if you do not want to go through things with me, i believe I'm strong enough to do things on my own and just so yknow, i know how it will turn like when the time nearly come by.

I've been accompanied with my tears the whole of my missing. Nevertheless, I'll make a good choice as soon as possible.

**I won't be updating my blog that regular as my busy with stuffs**

Now come 3! He's growing...

2010-05-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

To my dearest Hunny On Stick, HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY!
Seeing you growing and getting much more hyper is just so awesome even though at times you're too hard for me and others to handle but no matter what, i love you so much as you just know how to make me smile with all the nonsense and crap you're up with. You're everyone lover boy that no one wanna stay alive without.
I've spend a few bucks on your birthday present and it took me a few hours too, searching for it cause i just wanna find something that you really like even if it gonna cost me much.
Like I've told some people, for you, i don't mind buying anything and everything you want.
Now you've come 3, and sad thing is you've fall sick on your birthday, and like i promised, I'm gonna take care of you and put the whole attention on you till you're well(:
Get well soon darling, and last but not least, HAPPY BIRTHDAY(:

--------------------------

Daddy, I know you cares a lot and you love me so much(:
Not to worry, I'm okay. Yesterday, I was shocked when you scolded me and there i go outburst.
Like you always know, I'm a cry baby! haha
Okay lah, I love you daddy!

changed to BAD and now being the best ;)

2010-05-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

You changed to a person that i don't wanna get to know out of a sudden and your changed made me wanna leave but because of me too loving you and don't wanna grow older without you, I've stayed strong and go through everything that you're up to cause i still cares. I know if i were to leave you in that kinda kind of situation, i guess yknow what you'll end up to be. I don't want you to destroy your future by all the useless influences. I don't wanna see my precious ones ending up to be someone that just can't contribute any good deeds now or even later on in future to come. I want to see you success in life and for now,the very important role play for you is make everyone proud of you in your studies. Like i always say to you, prove to everyone include your past that you'll be someone that can holds my future that well.

It's okay if there's a little circle of people looking down on you but they just do not know how your life is moving. And what i can see is that you're being someone that i can depends on and someone that many need. You are very needed in so many life's and that include mine. For me, you're so needed even though at times you're too hard to control and not that I'm blaming anyone but the truth is, all the bad influences are to strong for me to pull you out from it alone. Though, I'd made myself been so strong to pull you away even it just by a distance. I want you to mix around but not to much. I know yknow why I'm doing all this cause i really am someone whom loves you too much.

Thanked god, you've returned to your own self and even to someone so much better. You started to show me that you really cares about and loves me more than you always do. I can easily feels the effects, serious. For the past 1year 6months being with you,I've learned a lot of things. You're my boyfriend, best friend, adviser and everything. You're simply too perfect in my life. I feels so secure whenever with you(: I love you too much!

-----------------------------

Hello linsa(;
Yes darling, I've mixture in my blood. My dad and his family side is more to "baba". I'm not rich, serious. It's just that spoiling my stuffs when i gets angry is like a habit. And yes, mostly my parents will get a new one after i spoil it cause they just know I'm gonna asked for a new one like again. But that doesn't mean I'm rich. My parents gives what i wanted, somehow I'm the youngest child in my family so i gets a bit pampered at times(:

------------------------------

Hey Idora Ng!
It has been a long time i last met you. You saw me at town? When? Saturday? I was at town on Saturday and yes with my boyfriend. Saw me but then don't know to say "HI" to me? You've tried to search for your number but failed! Yknow my email right? Pass me your number through there. Gonna meet you one fine day(: You don't assume anyhow that I'm from a rich family uh! I've turn poor after too many people borrowed money from me,yknow? haha. Thats why i wanna meet you one day to just let you see my pretty+cute face. wth! haaahaa

As I've predicted(:

2010-05-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

Zero picture for today even though i did go out just now.
Like seriously, I've a great time with daddylove. We went to many places till we got lost. And we noticed that most of the places we went, is like zero with all the Malay's and hardly sees any matreps and all the minah's, and we kinda like it. The view's was so fantastic and easily make anyone to release stress, serious. I've not much to story tell about my day out cause I've a very awesome time with my daddylove afterall.

Tag's reply is out!

2010-05-11T09:09:00.000-07:00

"Sorry for the late reply cause i just wanted to reply all tag's at one go"

Pb: Hapi 1yr 6mths...I also wnt bf lyk urs...
Yaneey: Hello PB? Thanks for the wished. Hopefully you'll find one like mine(:

Ieqaaaa: Yo! I bloghoppppp your blog. Wahhh! Happy belated 1 and a half yr to u... I tot u minahrep but NO!
Ieqaaaa: Hehehe takecare cantekkkk!
Yaneey: Thanks for the wished darling. Minahrep? haha BIG NO for that word. But its okay, thats your first impression i should say.

mr love: last long! hard to find long lasting couples these days!
Yaneey: Yeah its true but its really hard to have a long lasting relationship cause there's always so much with the downs that couples need to go through. If they really want it to last they've to deal or roll problems in a proper way so that it won't go any wrong. btw thanks(:

:) : I agreed with mr love,hard to find long lasting couples these days! you both do click!
:) : by the way, are you from a rich family?
Yaneey: Thanks to you, I'm from a average family. Not rich nor poor. Why?

Passerby: semakin lawa lh die! apakah rahsia anda?
Yaneey: Thanks for the compliment darling. Seriously there's no secret(:

linsa: wats wrong wit you dearly? ur bf acting tat wae must have hys own reason. try asking hym.
linsa: stop locking urself in ur room. express ur feelings out. it may solve ur probs
linsa: cheer up sweet!
Yaneey: I've this stupid attitude of locking myself in my room cause when I've a problem, I'll release it by being alone and at times I'll start spoiling my stuffs. haha. Thanks for your advice. We're in a very good terms now(:

passerby: hey, pull him back. If you don't, you'll regret it. He's a good guy.
passerby: I'm sure you don't wanna lose him. Do something before it's too late. I know your bf. He's really a guy you don't wanna lose. He's cute in the pics and so hot in person:)Babe, fyi lotsa girls want him
passerby: cheer up pretty!
Yaneey: Yes, i agreed he's a good guy and the sweetest boyfriend on earth. He looks so perfect even if people say no. Yeah, I knew lotsa girls want him but too bad his with me and what i can see many is trying hard to break as apart and for anyone who is still trying, please stop cause the more you try that hard, us gonna be much stronger. Am not talking big down here but that's the truth. Btw thanks for all the advice(:

:) : Good to know you both are in good terms again. I'm happy for you! btw yaneey, are you chinese?
Yaneey: I'm pretty glad there's at least someone whom love seeing us in a good terms and being happy for me too. Profuse thanks to you! I've a mixture of malay+chinese. Have you heard of chinese baba before? If yes, I've that blood in me. Why are you up to that question?

To all my lovely tagger's!
I glad to receive tag's from you guys and i love to reply it too. But please kindly type out your name for those who didn't. Thanks(:

I'll always forgive you, love(:

2010-05-11T03:28:00.001-07:00

Thanked god, I've success to pulled him back like per normal. He said countless of "sorry". Just so yknow daddy, I'll always forgive you whenever you've done anything wrong. And i know you didn't do it on purpose, you've your very own reason and i also know that you didn't mean to hurt me.

I just don't know how to pen down how i feel cause I'm so feeling great and more then happy.

DADDY, YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING AND JUST SO YKNOW, NOBODY CAN EVER REPLACE YOU. && YEAH, I'LL MAKE MY WHOLE SATURDAY FOR YOU,YES ONLY YOU!
I LOVE YOU; DADDY!

Losing every part of you

2010-05-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

[First of all, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to my mama and all mother's.

May y'all be loved by your children and have a good health, of course(:]

I'd noticed lately you're reacting so weirdly towards me. You don't really have those times for me like you used to. I believe that you're free enough to do so but i don't know why and what i did wrong till you're like kinda avoiding from me. I don't wanna blame you or anybody else other than myself. MAYBE, I'd done something wrong without me realizing. I've tried my very hard to be a good girlfriend but yet it can never be seen.

Looking through all the pictures that we took in the past says that we're no longer that way. Like seriously we drifted a lot. I feels like I'm losing every part of you little by days passed. You never did any revenge before this but now you're being a different person that i never known before. I do not know how to pen down my feelings into words last time but now i know a little bit and still learning so that at least anybody can read and understand what I'm going through.

Just so yknow, i don't need friends to accompany me when I'm down but i need only you to always be by my side and accompany me whenever I'm in need. I know you've a family to looked after and i do have one too. I won't steal those times away from you nor your family. And i remembered us making a so call timetable for our meeting days. And like yesterday, you've let your friends steal my time with you and you left me aside just for them. So what did i felt yesterday? Yknow?

The only thing that I'll do is just locked myself up inside my room and cried till i can't. I've nobody to comfort me cause the only person whom always do all those works is you but when you yourself never been there for me anymore like you always did, then who? Nobody!

God willing, you gonna realize it and stop those nonsense. I'll never stop reminding you till you're totally awake and not anymore in that wonderland of yours.

Forgive me, NOT?

2010-05-08T03:35:00.000-07:00

I know I have done wrong lately
And have hurt you tremendously
All I can say is sorry
Although it seems inadequate, really.

But if you could just let me
To explain my side of the story
Of how painful it can be
To know I have hurt someone so greatly.

My thoughts of you are many
As I want to make it up to you quickly
I’m now hoping fervently
For you to give me this opportunity.

------------------------------------

I know i hurt you greatly and i know you're mad at me cause I reached home late yesterday. I realize my mistake and just so yknow, yesterday i didn't go out with my friends but with my sister. And before you tagged them along, I've told my sister to message you and asked if you allow and if you wouldn't mind if they wanna bring me out and you replied 'okgo'.I know even though your replied was ok, i shouldn't be home late. That particular part, i know and i admit its my fault.

I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry..

I know you're up to something for revenge and like again I'm saying this, i went out with my sisters and not with my friends and gone to any stupid shit place and waste my your money. And i don't know how long you going to speak to me in that kind of manner, i won't raise my fvcking voice on you cause i know I'm the one in fault. I don't wanna pull this thing any long but yea, up to you you still wanna react that way. I'll never stop saying sorry until you forgive me or tone down.

I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry..

I'm sooooooooooo sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......

I don't need a boy but i need a man....

2010-05-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

(Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river)

I don't blame you from having those thoughts even though its seriously a stupid ones. I know you haven't put the trust fully on me when it comes to "boy-FRIEND". I don't blame you for that cause i know i don't deserve to get those trust yet. Maybe, yes just maybe i deserve a little trust cause I'd tried v.V.very hard to gain it back. I've been behaving myself all this while with or without you cause I'd promised and swore to myself to not hurt you again. I did countless of mistakes in the past and i wouldn't wanna repeat it like again.

I wanna make our relationship fills with all the sweetest and meaningful moments and i don't wanna spoil it with all the fights nor just a little arguments. Enough with the downs that we both had gone through, though we can't simply put an end to the fights and arguments cause we not yet know what gonna happen or what god is up to in future to come but yet we have the power to prevent each and every fights or arguments that is popping between us. Its all up to both of us on managing our relationship and not forgetting with the way we deal with any upcoming problems that we have to face. Most importantly, we both have to stay tight together and of course face those killer problems together and not let it till drift us apart.

I know my world will be kinda empty without you and i don't wanna see you with someone else other me for sure. I'll make your life secure as i won't let anybody hurt you like the way you handle me all this while. As for my message that I send to you that day about your friends, I'm sorry cause i don't really mean what i said but on the other hand, I don't want you to mix with them too much. At times your friends are pulling you to another world which i don't really like it. And just so yknow, friends influence is strong indeed.

Remember, don't let anyone destroy you, us and your future. You won't lose a single cents if you don't have friends but no worries, you always have your family, me or even my family to brighten your day, as yknow my parents always praying for you to be part of our new family member on one fine day, Insya'allah.....

Everlasting.....

2010-05-03T05:33:00.001-07:00

"Happy 1Year 6Months to you, me & US!"

Without me notice, 1year 6months had passed. We've 6 more months to go to our 2YEARS anniversary. Yes, I can't wait for the time to pass very fast. And i can't wait to prove to everyone that we gonna be together forever ever. And thanked god, our relationship is blessed by our parents. And for you my dearly daddy, thanks for giving me all the attentions that i need and pampered me with stuffs and everything. You never failed to make me sketch a wide smile on my face and you knows the best ways to cheer me up when I'm down. I will never let this relationship gone to waste cause i know we've gone through a LOT. For a few times some situations pulled us down and ended us for awhile but see, we can still hold us together up.

The nagging that you always received from me, is not on purpose but yknow whenever something in you go wrong and i saw changes in you, I'll remind you and not let it goes on. Daddy no matter what happen, I'll be with you in the ups and downs. I know yknow that i love you so much(: What i wanna see from you is you success in life... For now, study-hard and stay out of troubles...... Cause i can't be always preventing you from doing each and everything you want.

Last but not least.... I... LOVE... YOU... May us last forever((:

Can i meet you now?

2010-04-25T04:52:00.001-07:00

I want to kiss and hug boyfriend like the way this picture shows. It look so sweet. OMG! Am i missing boyfriend right now? Yeah, yes i do, very much!

stupid PLUS nonsense++++++

2010-04-24T03:44:00.000-07:00

More and more nonsense I'm up to at home. I love spending my times at home cause there's always something stupid plus nonsense will happen. Just so yknow, I seldom waste my time outside or hanging around shopping malls without any purpose like some youngsters did. Cause i dislike doing that and if only i did, I'lll get a loud yell and so much with the yacking when i reach home. But yet, I'm curious to know, what so best about wasting your time hanging around the shopping mall? Hmmm, I should make them do a survey next time just for me to find out.

I've nothing much to blog. Not too much with the keyboard yaneey please!
Kay lah bye lah! Rude enough to end a post that way? Yes, it is.
This is all for today, nothing much but atleast a little(: Will do much with the typing next time when I'm vVvV.very free to do so.
Bye for now((:

Peace & loving it

2010-04-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

(I'm pretty glad no one trying to assume anything again. Few days living so peacefully without any disturb making me so loving it. & i hope no more nonsense coming up sooner or later)

Have been a few weeks I've learned to wake up early in the morning just to send this little boy to school and have to make myself free by 7:30Pm to fetch him home. Troublesome enough? Yes it does, but I'll just do anything for him. Like again, life without him is so quiet.

He always reminds me whenever daddylove didn't call me. He will ask me "Bi tak call?" Then I'll go "ohhh ya". haha. I know he misses daddylove a lot cause he always wanting and begged me for a meet. Poor little boy, Bi is busy with school and so do you. I'll let you meet Bi when you both are so free, promise.

Eventhough i know he won't be reading this, cause his still learning the basic so he won't be able to yet read things like us. But still, every morning I'll tell him that, to make him feel much more better and wants to go to school.

--------------------------------------------

It has been quite long eversince we spend our time together, when there's only two of us. And I'm some kind of missing those times and i think i should ask daddylove out for dinner this weekend. What do you think? Should i?
If i were to ask him, he will always agree to go cause when come to FOOD he will always like it. So, i don't think i should ask him but i think i should just bring him.

I just don't know what to blog today cause i just don't have anything interesting to blog. I think thats just it for today(:

I'm not going to fight but I'm standing for my right(:

2010-04-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'm not going to fight or exchange nasty words. Like i said, I've learned the right ways to rolled and deal with problem and so, I'll try to keep it that way.

Fyfiie oh fyfiie it's true if we girl's layan dia, kita salah. But the thing now is, layan sebagai apa? Don't tell me that you're too jealous till tak satu perempuan pun boleh layan dia and i mean sebagai seorang kawan. I believe he told every girls he have been flirting with that his a single man. And guess what girl's intend to believe what that sweet-talker said. Real fact, he told me that before but too bad, am not that stupid to fall onto that double head trap. Thanked god! And i think you really SHOULD try changing him cause, because of him and because of this misunderstanding, I'm into this shits! I won't say it's useless when you says you trying to change him, indeed I'll say GOOD! And you should try harder!

"At least ure not like the other ****ed up minah" ; what's that for? I'm very particular on words people trying to decribe me. I don't need the word minah cause I'm not.

"I'm not a **** minah wanna be eyh, if a minah wanna be would hate tag u w/o using their own name"; how would yknow that hate tag never tend to use their own name? And corrections, what I've been through, not only minah's and those mat's will hate tag people's blog not using their name, but decent girls and boys did that too.

"Sorry for the inconvinienced caused"; What for asking for apology if you keep on pulling this nonsense for long? I don't need! Thank you(:

I don't wanna storytell like the way you did, so I'll wait for your message and I'll meet you; soon, later, i don't know when..... bla bla bla

----------------------------------------

I'm so tired, just got back from town. With who? Daddylove and friends lahz.
I told daddylove with what's have happening on nowadays. And he advice me to delete everything cause he don't want me to lead into troubles. No, I won't do that cause these kind of people can never bring me down. I'll not stop blogging nor facebook-ing (Is there such word?) haahaa whatever. I'm soooooo tired, and i wanna have some rest please.......
ZzZzZzZzZzZz............

I don't want yours cause mine is BETTER!

2010-04-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that i owned #1 sweetest boyfriend on earth, who always cares about me and never wanna hurt me that easily. He knows the ways to make me smile widely and always make my single day's like a dream came true. There's don't have the needs for me to go around flirting nor searching for anybody's boyfriend for love. He gave me more than enough. I've each and everything i wanted and I've been treated so well. I'm not thinking too highly but my boyfriend don't go around flirting and he seldom hurt me unlike YOURS (Referring to a dumb ass)!

I should be proud of myself that I've success in my relationship this time. My hard work and effort is not gone to waste. Well, I've learned the right ways to rolled and deal with problems. I'll always remind myself, what had been happening in the past is just a test from god. What we plan and what we have been dreaming of, I'll make it come true eventhough there's still a long way to go. I'll be more that glad to be with you the whole of my life.

Let me make things clear here, I don't mind anybody tagging my tagboard but if you think you wanna find my fault or storytell me with your make up stories or even speaks in a minah's ways, please kindly leave. You're just making my tagboard full of shits.

And for you fyfiie, if you're still not satisfied with me, ask for my number and I've my whole life to entertain you and your shits eventhough i don't kinda bothers it too much. I've been through this kind of things a lot of times and I'm getting sick of it. You people are so sickening and never stop acting like minah wannabe tagging people's blog and not forgetting your warning's is always there to like scare people gitu lah.

For the 98794732xxxx times I'm saying this again, You people warning's can never go any far. There's a phrase says: "ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS", heard of that before? You should have, atleast once. Kay lah don't wanna say anything much.

I don't even wanna get into your not-so-interesting-life!

Monkey read & monkey tagged!

2010-04-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

fyfiie: hey beb, just so u noe maeb its late fr this, im that dart pakara gf, n ive been longing to search ,

fyfiie: fr u, and about ure post on last yr november 2009, i know u n hym sudden gt close, n if i were bad
fyfiie: ebuf i **** u up and picked up ure fone calls, n freaking hell stop bothering dart urh eyh, n dart

fyfiie: is a play boy just so u know, that point of tyme he was still playboy n we were fighting, he goes n

fyfiie: talk to other girls tojust using u guys, i know hym too well, like i said, pls u are not needed to

fyfiie: comment anything on his wall posts,nor pics or anything, coz it only irritates me, n i dun care u

fyfiie: i wont be responsible, to me that matter is still fresh n i wnt rest till i get that person, get that in mind, im not satisfied but i aint anger, its just a friendly warning, thanks, if u got

fyfiie: anything to say ,say infront of my face, n not on a blog or fb or tagg or any whr,i can take critism

fyfiie: n who the ffff is this lyanie nk step caring nan mataer aku lak ??

Hello Fyfiie!
Thanks for tagging but so sorry that I do not need your unwanted words here. Do i seem to care so much with your friendly warning or do i seem to care if you're not satisfied? Just so you fvcking know, i've nothing to do with that DART! && did i ever ask you if he was a playboy at that particular point? I don't thing so and i wouldn't wanna know. And if you think you wouldn't want me or anybody else to comment his picture nor post, why sign up for those stuffs if he can't receive any comments. Oh now than i knew that my comments irritates you and good if that so. Who bothers who? And i don't mind if you wanna be that nasty to me and just pick up that calls and fuck me up cause you'll just get the same thing from me as i think you're unable to take good care of your own boyfriend and please dumb ass, make his life much more secure. What a pity of you to get that kind of boyfriend whom never appreciate you as a girlfriend but he went with another girl. And not to be so worried that he won't do anything to me and there's don't have the needs for you to be responsible cause my life is damn secured and nobody dares to even put a finger on me! And i don't go with someone like him, his not my cup of tea darling. I've a life to go on and I've my own boyfriend to look after and I'll only stick my nose on my own business and not on others cause i just don't wanna make things go wrong like yours. Words of advice: I think you should look out for his steps rather then tagging me or i should say tracking on my previous post cause you're wasting your time here.
Lastly sweet, never ever warned someone. Warning is a big word and it can turn into a big issue eventhough it's just a friendly warning. && yeah good luck with your tracking; dumb ass!

To all, I do appreciate your tagged's unless there's not too much with the keyboard and do watch your words dearly readers.

I really feels so blessed please

2010-04-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Like again I'm saying that i feels so blessed! Now then i knew that everyone cares a lot about me. I was surprised when Azizul daddylove's friend bought for me something that i always loves to eat. What surprised me more, knowing that he actually knows what i like. So sweet of you! aww! Basically, met daddylove and the others in the afternoon and yeah, today wasn't really a nice day cause something happened that i can't say it here. It's so sensitive to storytell openly. I know daddylove shouldn't had done that but too bad no one dares to stop him cause he have to teach and make him learn from his lesson.

I've come to a decision that i know people gonna say that I'm heartless. My decision this time is like final, I won't be as kind as i am cause i know people is taking advantage of my kindness and i know when you intend to help someone, you shouldn't be thinking about something in return but come on, i don't need and i don't care about you wanna do something in return or not but what i want and i believe everyone wants to be appreciated. By the way, just so yknow am not pointing fingers and don't get offended cause I'm not referring to anyone. This is just a decision from me cause I've been through a lot and i think i should not be too kind like i used too.

I wanted to make my hair done before this Saturday but daddylove just don't let me cause he said sucha waste of money. Yes, I've waste a lot of money on my hair before i cut my hair short. And I won't disturb my hair till it grow long, longer than before. I miss my long hair so much. I wasted more than two HUNDRED dollars$$$$ on my hair before i cut it up. Daddylove kept on asking "bila ni rambut nak panjang balik?" And i get annoyed cause rambut grow lama nah. haahaa, but no matter what, i still love my hair so much and i treated it like my sweetheart too.

And did i ever tell that I'M BACK ACTIVE IN FACEBOOK? Only god knows why i can get myself active in facebook. woohoo.

Daddy; Am so loving you kayz((:

God; created him for me!

2010-04-12T23:16:00.000-07:00

I feels so blessed cause I've all the wonderful people's around me who always cares about me. This goes to my daddylove whom never stop cheering me up when I'm down and he always knew when is the particular moment when i really need him. I don't ask for much for him though, giving me a call a day and ask how's I'm doing, is so will do and its more than enough.

At the age of 17, I do still go outburst when I've got scolded by anyone. And still am depending on someone to be prepared for the days after another to makesure that I'll be still living happily ever after and makesure I'll be just fine.

Daddylove had been the one whom i can count on and his the one whom always made my life so secure. He's like making my dream come true. Eversince school's reopen, I'm kinda gets bothered easily. 1year more to go, daddylove will be going for his NS life and no matter what happen, he HAVE and need to leave me out here by my own without him whom i used to depend on. But no worries, I'm big girl now, I've to learn to be independent.

So, before the time come; i wanna spend the whole of my time with him. Eventhough i can only meet him for a little while a day, I'll be okay with it cause for now i don't wanna miss those chances cause once his away, i know I will regret for not grabbing those chances god has given to me.

Thanks daddy for being the best boyfriend on earth that i know i can never find any better. I know there's no other someone whom can treat me well as you do, whom pampered me so much till I've been too much and had come to the maxi limits. I'll stop my nonsense but too bad for the food stuffs i still can't get over it yet. You've spoiled me to much on fast food, sweets and many many more. And I'm so feeling ashamed to go out cause I'm a fatso now! haahaa.

My sisters ROCKX!

2010-04-09T05:13:00.000-07:00

Sister #1: Sisters, blisters and tongue twisters.
Let's play the remember game!

Me: Kayz, Let's me start first.
Remember when yanna(sister#2) begged mama and papa to see the elephants at the zoo, and then as soon as she saw them, she threw up?

Sister#1: Ya, That's the best!

Sister#2: How come all the throwing-up stories are about me?

Me: They just are. We never throw up. Ok, I have one about me. How about the time i convinced you to put marshmallows between your toes?

Sister#1: I don't remember that.

Sister#2: Me neither.

Me: Good. Because we haven't done it yet. We're going to do it right now.

Sister#2: No way am i putting marshmallows in my toes.

Me: It's a Health and Beauty tip doink. I read it in a magazine. Put marshmallows between your toes, and it makes it easier to paint your toenails.

Sister#1: Glitter toenails-cool!

Sister#2: Like i really care about toenails. And just one time I'd like to see one of the famous magazine articles you're always quoting. Like how to eat pizza without smearing your lip gloss.

Kayz, I know our remembering game was a total nonsense but cool indeed. This conversations was last week. Free time were spend that way, always.
Just so yknow, having siblings is great at times. And my sisters really rockx my free time always((:

my heart say so.........

2010-04-01T05:33:00.001-07:00

I always had an absorbing times whenever with you. I do realized i kept on smiling whenever there's you by my side. Just can't i imagine if there's no you, how can i stay strong like now. How life gonna turn like. And i'm pretty sure, my life won't be as secure as it is now. Nobody knows how freaking BIG my love for him, how freaking much i miss him every second of my life time. My words may sound i'm lying but thats all up to everyone to believe or not cause i'm saying out the truth and i'm the only person knows it well than others do. I think i should learn how to put my feelings into words cause till now i can't.
Sometimes, i felt unhappy with certain things but i'm scared to say it out cause it might just hurt his feelings. Just so yknow, i always tired to keep my feelings to my own self and not easily tell anybody even him. I've nothing to complain about him cause his so perfect in my eyes eventhough there's no one perfect in this world but what he said and what he do will always melts my heart.

I miss you lah!!

2010-03-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

Oh kayz, i miss daddylove so much

Great times?

2010-03-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday:
Siting by the river was so impressive after-all eventhough i dislike the first time cause I'm scared if i might just fall as i do not know how to swim. The wind blew strongly and it can just made me fall asleep but i didn't. haha. Spending my weekends with daddylove and friends is great thing indeed.
I just can't story-tell much about it cause it just been a super-great day for me, daddy and friends((:
There's more of Saturday pictures but am too lazy to upload.

Never starts again please

2010-03-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

Oh god, thanks for the endless happiness and i hope things won't start again as i want it to stay this way like we always seem to be. My predictions that i know we can still make it and the only ways to make my predictions come to reality is to always try and not give up. And my effort is not gone to waste. I'm pretty sure if only I'll be good at everything and anything even when people always says that no one is perfect, things gonna be super perfect as though we have to still try harder to be as perfect as possible.

All this while I've been too much and still he's strong enough to face every single nonsense and craps I'm up to. Sometimes, i tried to reflect my mistakes that I've done and true I've been a horrible girlfriend that actually he don't deserve. I still remember his words "I deserve the best and the best is you", but i know the words never fix me as i never did my parts as a girlfriend yet.

A few weeks living in a title of complicated was a total hard for me, as I'm scared it gonna change to single but i believe god still loves me so much and believe in me that i can show him a total change and prove to everyone that i can and able to be a good girlfriend. I've swear-ed to myself that no more nonsense from me as i know the man that I'm with now no longer can handle me as he always used. I've been so hard for him and I'll tried not to now.

ByeBye facebook, Hi love(:

2010-03-16T05:53:00.001-07:00

No longer a facebook user as I've to let daddy delete it and the bad side is, he got to know that i made mistakes again. But thanked god, I'm forgiven(: Never wanna repeat it again, sumpah! Sick and tired of fighting again and again. Guess its true what daddy always say, access to all those website can make us end up fighting and will easily make us apart. Should stop signing up for no more interacting website.

For the sake of my precious relationship with daddy, i rather leave all those things other than making my love life go on the rock. Nobody knows how freaking much i love him and i'll do anything to not let him go and girls, i'm not behaving like one minah's but tell you what, whenever you're involve with my boyfriend, i'll be in too. And thats the time and only moment you will get the chances to meet and face my super-cool-adorable face. I'll fight for my love no matter what happens.

To those who wants me to link/relink you guys, i'll do so as soon as possible okay. For now, i'm too-super-duper-lazy to link/relink.

"Daddy; aku sungguh mencintai engkau"

I love you please

2010-03-12T08:17:00.001-08:00

I just can't stop myself from smiling whenever there's you. Eventhough you made me go pissed off almost every single day but you also made my day each and every second of my lifetime. I've got you and daddylove by my side always to keep me feels secure and peace. You're way too My precious for me to let go. Life wouldn't be complete without kissing and hugging you each day. Thanks for making my day as yknow i love you so much.

The smiles and laughter in you just can make me go wooohooo. Bringing you to anywhere and everywhere with me seriously not a problem but only that its very tiring since you're to hyper. I'll always keeps you in my prayer and hoping that you will not be as hyper as now, penat tau jaga budak.

As for my daddylove, i believe everybody made mistakes or i should say countless. Nobody is perfect in this world but you just have too understand that not being yourself may hurt someone feelings and somemore you're with me and so, your sudden changes was a shocked and yea i may be still smiling and laughing around but deep down my heart my a total hurt.
No one will understand how's it feel unless you been through it before.

I don't mind you mind you mixing around but the important point is WHO are they. I'm not saying that your friends are the no good ones but sometimes because of too much with the mixing, you can just fall and that point of time you will start regreting. I don't want that to happen to you. I'm not yacking at you but i'm just highlighting your mistakes and reminding you before its too late.

Its too late to reflect, think and choose to see which of your friends is a true friend and bukan kawan makan kawan all that stuffs. I just don't wish to see you falling as i always make my time to make sure you're always with me and never stop reminding you of the goods and bads.

Hard for me to understand ^__^

2010-03-11T06:59:00.000-08:00

This seem super-so-too-very hard for me to understand what's going on.
Yknow how freaking much i love you and never do i wanna try to hurt you again? I don't wanna put my words to make you into blame but see for yourself, who's fault? For just a week plus we are label complicated but still we're contacting and meeting each other almost everyday and yet you have the cheek to do that mistake?

I've no idea what kind of promises you showered her with and guess i shouldn't be bother anymore. I tried changing just for you and yet this is what i get in return! What are you trying to tell me? What for coming back to me to just hurt me! Yknow, I'll turn outburst easily and yet you hurt me with your nonsense. Don't tell me you wanna see me crying like one stupid-big-baby!

Whats more you wanna do after this? Whats more god wanna test me with? I'm not saying that i'm totally perfect that i didn't done any mistakes before, yes i did countless and you said i'm forgiven, so why do like this stuffs when yknow that it gonna hurt me badly.

I've turn speechless now, i don't know with way to go and how am i suppose to react. Should i just smile, laugh or keep myself in silence? Hais, nothing more i can say here.

Created for me

2010-03-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

For a week plus being in a complicated life is REALLY hard.
Eventhough there's no difference in the treatment but the feeling are way far so difference.
Thanked god, everything is back to normal and i promise to behave myself and treat him well this time round. I take this second chance seriously as i don't wanna things happen again. I just realized that i love him so much that till i wanna grow old with him. Aww.

Daddy, if you were to read this, i just want you to know that i love you so much and sorry cause i haven't been a good girlfriend and never have i behave myself in a way that you want. I promise that i gonna be the girlfriend that you wanting me to be and the girlfriend you deserve to be with.
I'm sorry for hurting you all this while and i've never understand the situations and have been so selfish. Just so yknow, i only need your fullest attentions and love and i'll be okay with everything. You have been a good kickass #1 boyfriend for the past 1year plus and yknow that i don't wanna leave you even a second of my lifetime. I'll take this secound chance seriously, and understand and even love you much like i never did before, promise!
Lastly, i love you((:

Hoorayy !

2010-02-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

Meeting daddyLove tomorrow. Hoorayy.
Just so yknow, MY DADDYLOVE IS THE BEST !

Things change and people do change too):

2010-02-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Tak ku meyangka dan tidak aku menduga akhirnya engkau berubah.
Sekelip mata cinta kita terlerai, dihujani dengan linangan air mata. Mengapa engkau dustai cinta kita, dimana letaknya janji setia yang pernah engkau lafazkan sewaktu dahulu ingin terus hidup selamanya bersamaku hingga ke akhirnya.

Tinggallah aku bersama hati yang pedih terpaksa lah aku telan segala kepahitan sehingga kering air mataku manangis bila aku kenangkan nasib yang telah menimpa diriku ini.

Biarkan lah ku sendiri meneruskan hidup tanpa mu disisi, ku terima dikau pergi andai itu maumu.

----------------------------

I'm grateful that i'm not left with nothing and i believe one day we gonna be back together but it takes time. I just want you to reflect everything that we've been through all this while, all the ups and downs. What i want you to keep in mind is, i'll always love you like i always do.

I don't expect this from you !

2010-02-25T05:08:00.000-08:00

I'm sooo dispointed and am so speechless now)):
I don't expect this from you and you made me turn speechless.
I'm fully ready for any upcoming nonsense. I'm happy with what i have now and i know if my prediction is true, precious will always cheer me up.

Oh god, how i wish my prediction is true and how i hope precious is here with me by my side and go through every single nonsense together with me. I'll keep precious by my arms and never let fuckers even YOU to take precious away. Just so yknow, precious will be half of my heart.

i hope this is just a dream !

2010-02-23T05:30:00.000-08:00

I'm very particular when it comes to my boyfriend and the journey of us is so slim now.
Yes, I've tried my best to be a good girlfriend and yet it can never been seen. Oh god, please stop testing me. I'm not that strong to go through anymore shits.

Just so yknow, most of my post may give a impression that i'm the good ones and his the bad ones but actually NO! I'm always the one in the bad position. And i don't understand why do my words always makes him being the trouble maker and the ones who is always at fault?

"As us is on the rock now and for us to be back in good conditions is so slim,
I hope precious would be here with me as i'll keep precious by my side always and comfort me
whenever i'm missing you. Don't worry i won't play you out as what had happened to you in the past. No matter what happen, i love you so much. And i hope this won't be the last post about you. "

Job ohh Job !

2010-02-20T07:12:00.000-08:00

It's very tedious to do anything nowadays, though I'll gonna be very tenacious and will not give up looking for job until i have found one.I can waste my time no more. I've more than enough rest already. I'm a layabout but i don't wanna prove to people that I'm a real lazy-bum! So yaneey, wake up!

Oh okay, I can feel I'm having ulcer inside my mouth. Argh

---------------------------------------
Tagboard reply
Eka: Ur body shape is already nice. Can be a model bt u too short la.hehehe
Yaneey: I'll be tall one day !
Passerby: Your english is good & its hard to believe you were in NT stream last time.
Passerby: Keep it up with your english (:
Yaneey: Haha! Just so yknow, my english is horrible. SERIOUS !!
BBYgerl: Passerby, yaneey is a stupid-ass! Can go NA don't want. Go choose NT ! Ni la org pandai sgt sgt!
Yaneey: Me and my clever brain! haha. Yeah, i regret !!!!!!!!!!! Should think properly next time! And thanks for calling me stupid-ass, idiot!

problem SUCK !

2010-02-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

The way people talks to me nowadays is always so abrasive. Seriously, they're so annoying that i feel like flying them off. And for the minah's with their keningsss, never wanna stop sticking their eyes on others. But nah, I'll just ignore to avert trouble. Just don't bother to entertain nonsense.

Now than i know that life is hard for someone like me who haven't yet know how to deal with problems. The only thing in mind is for me to avoid as i've to ran away from it. Though, easy way out won't solve anything.

Maybe this is the time, god wanna test me to see if i'm strong enough to go through everything as for future to come, there will be more challenging ones.

Will be turning one year older in a few days time and i can't be so babyish anymore. Go outburst cause of small things. Yes, i'm still young and still has a long way to go and needs to learn alot of things still.

Backache is killing me)): Awww.
Off to bed, darlings!

Profuse thanks

2010-02-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

I hope by posting this it will seem enough to you.
Profuse thanks to you my dearest daddy for helping out with my school thingy.
I know i'm abit s-l-o-w and b-l-u-r-r to do it on my own.
Well, let the clever ones do it for me. haha

I'm so missing my girlfriends freaking much.
Shasha dangdut fixed a day for a meet up but not really so sure if that day gonna really happen.
Hey girls, c'mon make yourself free.

Oh yeah, i'm not sure if its true that i'm turning skinny now.
But many said so included ibu thats daddy's beloved mum. OMG! I've to eat more to get into shape back.

And yeah, my birthday is coming !!!!!

I'm so sorryyy ):

2010-02-17T04:49:00.000-08:00

Oh god, thanks for giving me the chance to be with him.
He have been a great boyfriend whom i can count on and the only one who understand every single stories of my life. Problems never stop making my life so stressful. I tried running away from it as i thought thats the easy way out, but well daddylove tries to convince me that my thoughts is wrong. He says " running away from problem won't solve anything". What else can i do? This is soooo T-E-N-T-I-O-N ! I can't go through any deep.

I know i did countless of mistakes and most of the time i realised it. Why can't she forgive me? Maybe to forget is difficult but what i need now is for her to forgive me. A day without her is so stressful. Yesterday should be a lesson for me to learn, living without a mother is like a nightmare. I just can't believe she really did it yesterday. A small matter turns to a big deal to her eventhough it can be pay back. Maybe no one would understand what's happening here but i'm glad my daddylove do. If only i can turn back the time! Hahhhhhhhh)):

See, because of my clever brain, things turn this way. So this is really a learning lesson for me to actually think twice or more whenever you wanna do anything. Trying to help someone but ended up trying to help myself to release all this stress and too much of tension.

RinDu .......

2010-02-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

I just wanna tell you guys out there that i MISS my boyfriend freaking much (:
Just so yknow, his the one whom i can count on and he will never failed to sketch a smile on my face and thats what makes me LOVE him so muchy.
Mohammad Ubaidillah, you're really a great boyfriend ((;

Wahdu , miss lah pacar saya

2010-02-11T06:47:00.001-08:00

I'M MISSING MY DADDY BADLY )):

Hahh .... What a month .....

2010-02-10T04:50:00.001-08:00

After reflecting what am i doing now is actually wasting my precious time. I've been doing nothing at home other than sleeping and tv the whole day long . I've gain NOTHING for the past few weeks , fyi. What can i do now ? I've stop working as i thought i've no time to work cause i was schooling but now currently not going school as i need to wait till april and start afresh new course. Seeing people going to school is so-very tempting, but guess what, by only sticking my feets at home, i can actually make many new friends and thanked god, they've been a good listener. They never get bored listening to my endless stories, haha. Hmm , anyway, can i get myself wet on this monday?
DADDY !!!! I WANNA HIT THE BEACH ...!

Eventhough i get bored and fall ill easily, this daddy here never fail to cheer me up and this is why i love him alot and just so yknow his my precious gift. God really changed him to the better person now. And i'm so glad that he did cause i don't wanna see him changing to the worse when his with me. He always works really hard to just make my day and he always did. I can't just imagine if his not with me but with other girl, how his life will be? His the person i've to hold tight as he is not yet capable to hold himself up. Everyone have their on weakness. And though, his strong enough to go through everything and anything that god has written for him, me and us. I always reminds him, its okay to be friend with anyone but sometimes you've to be smart enough to make the right choice. Not every friends is good and not every friends is bad. But you must take note on who are you mixing with. Daddy please eh, don't change back. Keep on being this way cause you're really walking to the correct path(: No nonsense from you okay.
Lastly; i love my daddy alot ((:

ohhh ........

2010-02-07T17:19:00.001-08:00

I've got bored already doing nothing, everyday. I can't wait to know where do i get in this time round. I can't stay any longer at home cause i'm a layabout and by doing nothing at home almost everyday, can actually convince people that i'm really am LAZY. I do help my mama out a lil-bit of the housework but seriously i hate it. I'll just do the housework halfway and give myself a long rest. Unlike my daddylove who is so into housework and never get tired easily. Guess what, my daddylove knows how to cook but i don't. What for i'm growing up as a girl if i don't even know how to do anything, or maybe i'm just being too lazy. Well, i've been going to limbang nowadays to meet daddylove, since i'm not schooling for the time being, i've all my time to go anywhere and everyway and i already feels that i don't have anywhere more to go in singapore. BOREDBORED

wide SMILE (:

2010-02-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm glad that everything have turned to normal as i can sketch a smile on my face real wide again. I'm pretty sure that daddy has come to his senses and can already think what's good and what's bad. I believe in him that he knows the way to the right path and yeah he did knows it. Profuse thanks to him who did gave me chances after chances cause he knows that i'll be changing to the better person and a good girlfriend to him. Well , as you can see i've posted a new fresh tagboard which means no more nonsense okay ? Okay goodnight(:

WHY ?!

2010-02-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

I can't take it when people keep on stealing boyfriend time when it suppose to be mine ! I can feel that there's someone washing his brain up . Not into a better person but someone with no sense . Why daddy ? Why changed that easily ? If I'm the one who are making you changed to that kind of way , I'm so sorry and please be yourself . Don't get into traps easily cause it will only ruin your own life and not theirs . Open your eyes wide and hear things right . What have you gain mixing with them ? Is there any ? NO ! I don't think there is .
Yes , i do admit that i did countless of mistakes and yesterday was a brain wash for me . I'm changing bit by bit right now . I know i haven't been a good girlfriend to you and now I'm changing hard to be a better girlfriend whom you can depends on . C'mon daddy , don't ruin your life by mixing around and making your own-self stress out .
DON'T CHANGE TO THE WORSE !

CLEARLY STATED !

2010-02-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

MAKE THIS CLEAR HERE !
WELL TO SOMEONE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOWS YOU ; UDIN !
i DON'T CARE NOR GIVE A FVCKING DAMN IF YOU'RE SO INTERESTED IN KNOWING ABOUT ME OR WANTING ME IN YOUR LIFE , NONSENSE !
I'M PROUDLY TO SAY THAT I'M HAPPILY ATTACHED TO MY ONE AND ONLY BOYFRIEND ; MOHAMMAD UBAIDILLAH BIN ZAMRI AKA BOBOI ! HE'S THE BEST THAT I EVER MET AND THE ONE THAT I CAN NEVER FIND ANY BETTER THAN HIM !
I DON'T NEED YOUR WORDS NOR YOUR SAYS .
SO , KINDLY PLEASE DON'T TAG ME NONSENSE , THIS GOES TO ALL WHO HAVE THOSE INTENTION TOO CAUSE I DON'T ENTERTAIN STUPID THINGS .
SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT CAUSE I DON'T CARE !

Soo ... TENSION !

2010-02-02T01:24:00.000-08:00

This is so unreasonable eventhough they did gave me some reasons why i've to be thrown out. I was really so-very-sick lately and so i absence myself from school but with VALID REASON and i do produce an MCs. Doesn't that seem enough to them? Do they think i'm lying and just being too lazy to attend school? Kay, let's make it clear here, i'm no more being a student of bishan ite campus ! I was thrown out of school this morning , FOREVER ! That means, i've to look out and apply for another schooland i'll be back schooling in i'm not sure where this april. WTF ! This is so stressful for me to understand and go through, seriously. I don't know what should i do now and how i'm suppose to react. This is so-really-very UNFAIR cause i'm absence with valid reasons and i do produce an MCs but most of my classmates absent themselve if no valid reason nor mc, but in the end i'm the only one been thrown out of school ! They are so UNFAIR towards me !
I'm sooo TENSION right now !

The best of the best !

2010-01-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

Hello "PS" !

I've more than a million reasons to prove your words WRONG !Don't dare assuming anything that is not true !Me and boyfriend are in verrryyyy good terms and we seldom fite , so don't anyhow assume ! And you don't tell me information about my boyfriend if you did not see him anywhere . I know my boyfriend that well and i believe him more than YOU and yeah never try making up stories or dirty his name with your unwanted words . He can never have those free time to go flirting with other girls cause his always with me and almost everybody knows it ! Just so yknow that we don't and never once fought under the block cause we hate to and isn't shameful if someone sees it ? Please take good care of your own lifetime other than others . I'm pretty sure us don't need any of you kind of people words !

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Well , this picture was taken on thursday 28 January 2010 in school . Making things real clear here , we're not slacking but took pictures while waiting for our subject teacher to come up to class . We're studying real hard nowadays just to run after the GPA point . Duhh ! haha

--------------------------------------------

Let's talk about what happened today ! Boyfriend accompied me to polyclinic since i've blood test again ! After that we head to teck whye garden to let the kids have their time at the playground as i joined them played the swings . Enough with the playing , we when to bukit panjang plaza , finding for boyfriend's CD'S but he favour none ! So head to macdonald's and bought ICE-CREAMS !!!!! At around 5pm we reached my crib , kids settle down so do us . And yeah , we watched TOM AND JERRY CARTOON SHOW together and just so yknow tom and jarry's is the best of the best ! Looking forward to watch more cartoon movies ((::

Plain and simple ((:

2010-01-27T02:30:00.000-08:00

i'm home from NUH not been visiting any relatives nor friends but it's just me who needs to consult the doctors there. Been falling sickO almost everyday, i'm looking so frail and tired on my face. ARGH !
It is so tedious to do anything and everything nowadays. I'm just super-too-lazy to do so. Not going to update this blog of mine everyday as my dailt routine is very tight. I can't be having the time for other things other than my school stuffs. This is so sickening, yknow.
I won't be blogging a long one, i need tons of rest now.
Bye babies ((:

Served you right !

2010-01-18T07:00:00.000-08:00

Didn't punch "her" as "friend" asked me not to. Also, have decided to be more mature and feminine. Though i did confront her at break today, told her i knew what she'd done and warned her NOT to stick her nose in my business AGAIN !

But she didn't even apologize. Just said "it's not fair, you don't want him but you won't let anyone else have him either" (Who don't wanna let anyone else have him either?)

Honestly. Some people would never be mature enough to understand that boys and girls can just be really good friends without either of them wanting to play tonsil tennis.

Wished now i hadn't promised "friend" not to hit "her".

However, i did manage to sneak a fake dog turd into her packed lunch box.

It was made of brown-coloured damp clay borrowed from product design department and so realistic looking it totally put her off her sandwiches. They were chocolate peanut butter sandwiches too. (Like i really know what it contains je)

SERVED HER RIGHT !

Met boyfyy !!!!

2010-01-16T05:57:00.000-08:00

Molly is out on her date with his new boyfriend, although she told her parents she's at the pictures with me. She's not the only one out with her boyfriend-nearly everyone i know has a boyfriend now.
Called boyfriend but he said he was busy to come over.(tired)When i asked what he was doing, he was really vague about it and quickly got off the phone):
Hmm. This wasn't like boyfriend. Just know he's hiding something from me. But why and what?
Hope boyfriend isn't going to be one more who grows up and is no fun anymore.
Wish people would just stay the same and never change. Like me(:
But after awhile, boyfriend starts acting sweet back and he knows i love it so much that i can't put put my eyes out of him like i always do.
Thanks boyfriend for spending your time with me just now when i'm sick and feeling so frail.
& thanks for buying me chocolate waffle too.
Just so yknow, i love my boyfriend alot muchy [:

Lesbian , NOT ......!

2010-01-15T01:39:00.000-08:00

I never have and i never will fancy any of the stupid boys at my school but i'm going to have to pretend i do or people will start thinking i'm weird. Honestly, just because i'm too devoted to my boyfriend and can't be bothered with attracting boys, that doesn't make me a freak. Or a lesbian for those who did not know that i'm ATTACHED TO A GUY, as some people suggested .

My new best friend eka, who's really good in psychology, has tried to explain my weird-ness by saying that i'm suffering from a severe case of penis envy. WTF !

She told me that a man called Freud if i'm not wrong , who was the most famous and brilliant psychologist in the world ever, has said that all girls are jealous of boys because they've got penises and we haven't. Most girls sort of get over it but obviously i'll never eaten up with jealousy and i never have the thinking to be a "boy" , just because i can't be bothered about my school boys !

See, sometime words from people's around us is weird and funny. I was shocked to hear what my friend said and i tired to explain to them that obviously i'm not a lesbian for sure but i'm just too devoted to my one and only MOHAMMAD UBAIDILLAH and for your information , there's alot that are acting the way i am. If you're totally into someone, you will try to stick to them. Understand ? hahahahahahaha .

Okay people, i'll try not to make my blog dead again and do wait for more upcoming updates (: