Can't be bothered anymore
Wednesday | 5:39:00 AM | 0 comments
I do not want this to be a indirect post nor a direct post either. I do not know how I should be jotting down all of this but I have too. If you think this is for you then it is and if you think this is not for you then it wasn't.I thought, thought that you guys are old enough to be mature, having those mindset that children don't own but I thought wrong. In fact you guys are the ones who owns that lowly mindset than the other younger clans. You put situation at it's hardest position and yknow bitching about someone seriously isn't that nice, it does not look good on you.
Never once in my lifetime I crossed over humans like you. You are the group of people who hates pretenders so much but you're actually one of them too. We aren't that close nowadays I believe after an incident happened that day, I know and I can see it by your actions. Throwing tantrums and faces, speak as and when you like, being sarcastic in every of your conversations trying so hard not to make it so obvious when it already is.
Hah, You know what, it's kinda embarrassing when you seek help from someone you have been bitching about. Why must it be me you turn to when you're in need? Why can't you find your closes friends to help you out instead?
The reason for not joining you guys is because I can't tolerate those nonsense you guys are up to. The way you roll killing me alive. And I thought I wanted to join you guys this time round but after thinking through all the shits, thank you so much I'm pulling out. I should spent my time with someone who deserve me more, who knows how to treat me well unlike YOU!
Thursday | 6:47:00 AM | 0 comments
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Like again, after months I left my most dedicated relationship I'd to face a few struggling situation. All the things I'm experiencing now and then absolutely extremely too tough for a girl like me to be handling alone, whom had never learn to be independent. I often left my feelings hanging, I do not know how to be my own listening ears, I do not know where do I find a cure for myself. I know none, i know nothing, zero thing.
My parents definitely seems to be worried cause I often stare into the air and my face expression shows there's handful of things running into my mind but this poor girl do not know how to express it in words.
So previously I got myself into a relationship with Azri as you all knew about that. After a few weeks our relationship didn't turn out good, yea yea I'm just making him as a rebound. I have never want to be in a serious relationship yet. And so recently, I believe I was just sick living with a single life I finally gave a chance to Apit. Yes we definitely thought, wish, hope our relationship gonna turn out real good. We started it well, but it only lasted us 4 days I believe YES FOUR DAYS! Everything turn out horrible!
Today, I'm officially going back to my single life, I think this is the most suitable decision for me. I hurt a few hearts and I don't wish to hurt anymore. I can feel the pains they faced, so let's not do it again. I don't want karma to hit me hard one fine day. Now, I shall start a fresh. For sure, I'm in need of listening ears.
I don't wish to vent all my angers publicly but for now that's the only way I could calm myself down. I don't think everybody will understand me, I just need my ME-TIME alone. I need to do some self-reflection. And of course if only I could I need a good vacation to release some angers, headaches over board.
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I'm sorry, I really am ):
Monday | 8:58:00 AM | 0 comments
I'm sorry for not being what you expected me to be. I'm sorry for not treating you well like how you did. I'm sorry cause I'm rude. I'm sorry cause I burst your angers out. I'm sorry I embarrassed you publicly. After all I did, I'm sorry for myself having to hear you slip a word out of your mouth. Yes I am very disappointed, I really am. But after what I've done I guess your disappointment in me is much more bigger than mine.
All my years living, I've never get any scolding, I've been pampered almost all the time, I get whatever I want, everyone follows my wants, but then now when I'm with you, I guess my childishness shouldn't be expose too much, you made me realized that I'm no longer a kid, I'm all grown up. Not everybody can tolerate the way I used to.
Thank you for being sooooo nice to me and willingly forgive me after what I've done.
I've never want to be a failure again, I definitely am proud to have you as my boyfriend. I would never want anybody to take you away. Trust me I'm not making you as a rebound, yes I'm trying to move on, I do not want my past to spoil my present. Your existence is much appreciated<3
